He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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