and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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