WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
