I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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