Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
