Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

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(773): Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize. http://tfl.nu/bs3u

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(518): View more from New York

apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party

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(518): apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party http://tfl.nu/ab1k

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(330): View more from Ohio

if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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(330): if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would. http://tfl.nu/x08w

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."

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(617): i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex." http://tfl.nu/vl6s

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.

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(267): My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester. http://tfl.nu/b6od

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(530): View more from California

He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.

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(530): He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me. http://tfl.nu/h0f1

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(513): View more from Ohio

she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."

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(513): she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead." http://tfl.nu/j1dy

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"

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(617): We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?" http://tfl.nu/sgk0

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(770): View more from Georgia

Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...

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(770): Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well... http://tfl.nu/5d08

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(703): View more from Virginia

I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.

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(703): I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer. http://tfl.nu/bgxs

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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(704): It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning http://tfl.nu/8zj7

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(941): View more from Florida

I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now

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(941): I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now http://tfl.nu/pfr6

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(310): View more from California

I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...

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(310): I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall... http://tfl.nu/nu3z

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.

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(541): I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night. http://tfl.nu/6kn4

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(404): View more from Georgia

Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent

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(404): Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent http://tfl.nu/17u7

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