I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I need to stop coming to work sober
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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