I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
