Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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