hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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