Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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