ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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