She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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