I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
