Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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