dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize