You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
