Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
