What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
