I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Damn victory sex feels great
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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