Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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