So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize