The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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