Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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