Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?