she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
