Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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