You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.