Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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