so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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