Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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