I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
