He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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