no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and she was petting her beer can
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
