And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can't put those talents on a resume
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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