He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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