no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
