The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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