Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
