just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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