After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
