the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
