I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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