I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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