i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We need to rekindle our bromance
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
