The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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