I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
