Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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