Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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