I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
