what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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