I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
