but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
