i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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