I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
people are starting to question the shark bite story
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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