i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
